I am alive.

Sorry! So much for updating regularly. I have been busy with my social life, and now school.
I squeezed as much summer fun into the last weeks of August as I could. "Like when life gives you aids, make lemon-aids". . . Wait, that isn't how the saying goes. Whatever, when life gives me free time I squeeze wine and adventures from it.
". . ." Sarah Silverman, Jesus is Magic.

I'll give a quick recap of all the areas of my life since my last post.

My transition is going really well. I talked to my gender therapist about starting testosterone at my last appointment.
I also saw my dermatologist to warn her, and try to set up a game plan for my skin. During my first puberty, and even now I have had horrible skin. Testosterone very commonly brings about bad ache. It makes sense as to why this happens. It is a whole new puberty, and not a gradual one like the first. My dermatologist thinks that my skin shouldn't be too horrible, since we can get a jump on it.
My next appointment with my Gender Therapist is coming up quickly, October 2, the day before my birthday. I am really hoping, and think that she will give me my referral for testosterone. I am going to be really devastated if she doesn't.
I think it will happen though. It is so perfect, like it is meant to be this way. Almost 20 years to the day I get 'permission' to be born into the right body, the one I should have been born into.
If I get my referral from my Doc, I should be starting testosterone early in the New Year! Within weeks from my first shot I may be passing to everyone as a guy!

I am so happy I went through with my name change before I registered for school. I could not handle being called my birth name during class. In front of all those strangers, some of whom think I am a guy. It would be really hard to have that taken away had they heard my birth name.
But I am having some trouble in school, due to my transition. I am afraid to speak up in class. Not because I am worried that I have the wrong answer, or what I say will be stupid. But because I stress that my classmates, who up til this point may see me as a guy, will figure out when I talk that I am not a regular guy.

I have approached the tutorial leader of my Women and Gender`s study class about being trans, and my preference for male pronounces. I wasn`t afraid to talk to her about it. She teaches a WGSt class, obviously she is going to be cool with it. I probably won`t mention it to any of my other Profs, they will just have to be confused once I start hormones. It was important for me to mention it to this Prof because the class size is so small, and meant to be an inimate one. I knew I would be being called on, and talking in class and wanted to be referenced correctly.

I need to start being more firm with my friends about pronouns. Up to this point only a few call me by male hormones, and it is because they asked what I prefer. I need to bring it up to my friends who haven`t asked. It is just kind of a pain, and can be an awkward conversation. But it is a neccisary one, seeing how quickly my transistion is going.

I think I am going to grow my hair out, once I've started T. I really love the look of long (well maintained) hair on guys. I think my hair would be wavy, and handsome. Some might even say Fabio-est. Maybe my long hair will make me tough enough to take a goose flying into my face at full speed. Or maybe, having long hair will cause a wind matching to follow me around in life. I will start wearing a half open, ruffly white shirt!

As I already mentioned, University has started for me. I love it. I really do. Not just because of all the babes walking around campus, and not only for the free food that is given away on welcome week. I love my classes. I'm happy with the selection of classes that I have. I am interested in all of them.
It is already a lot of work, lots of reading. But as long as I keep up with that I will be fine.
Not much has changed since I was in high school. Students are still immature, and sometimes lazy. I was prepared for this, since it is so common for everyone to go on to higher learning. Even the douche bags, and people with the lowest marks come to University. I may not have as high as average as I did in high school, but I can guarantee that it will be higher then those select students. Which doesn't mean much, seeing how they can barely do up a belt, which I assume is why their pants are falling down.

My social life hasn't slowed down at all. The long weekend just past, and I had a lot of fun during it.
Friday night I went to fireworks. They were being launched off one of the bridges, and they were set to music. It was really cool to watch. What made the fireworks so enjoyable was the person I saw them with. The unnamed girl from my previous post, who I've decided to call Juliet. Due to our mutual love for the 1996 version of Romeo and Juliet, and because I joke that we are star crossed.
I am actually going as Romeo from that movie, when he is at the Halloween party dressed as a knight. So technically I am going as Leonardo DiCaprio playing Romeo, who is dressed as a knight. Basically, I am going to be a total babe. If anyone has any chain mail, or knows where I can get something like it, please let me know.
Juliet and I sat down on some painted rocks by the river, it is hidden away so it wasn't as busy as the rest of the area.
We shared our usual banter, and held hands during the show.
I guess I should update you on that situation.
Previous to the fireworks Juliet and I have had some consistent flirting. Well, consistent on my part. Every so often she throws something out that makes the time between worth waiting.
We kissed once, on a night of semi-drunk adventures. We wandered the city looking for a unicorn, and ended up on a train bridge. On the train bridge we discovered the Mothman, or at least some giant shadowy figure. I am grateful to that frightening figure because it scared Juliet into my arms for the first time. Where at the last minute I gathered enough courage to kiss her.
So that brings us to the night of the fireworks. A bit of time had passed from when our first kiss had taken place. I thought maybe she got scared, and couldn't be interested in me.
I joke that we are star crossed lovers. Because I got stuck in the wrong body, a body she is not normally attracted too. But that will change soon. Despite that fact, she seems to like me and will hopefully stick around til I can start T and fix our crossed stars.
So we watched the fireworks, more accurately I try to not stare at how beautiful she looked in the flashes of the fireworks.
Then we went on one of our random adventures. We end up in a little community garden. We kiss again! This time it is not just a quick small thing. We stay close for a while. Most important, neither one of us is drunk.
I say it is important because there have been people before who only let themselves be attracted to me when drunk. I'm really glad this is not one of those situations.
I really like being around her. We are both awkward. So we can appreciate and understand each other quite well. If anyone was to watch us, THEY would feel awkward from the raw awkwardness we generate. But it is a really cute awkward.
It felt so great to hold her close to me, to have that intimacy, something that has been missing from my life for a while now.
She is really insightful. She notices small things about people or a situation that most people don't notice.
I like her. Enough to barely notice, and ignore the advances of others. I reject them without a second thought. Not because Juliet and I are committed in anyway, we are definitely not at that point. But because I don't want to mess up my chance with her, and because the mild flirting and situation we have now is more then what those other people offering can give me.
It doesn't matter to me if nothing comes of this situation. I'm happy, and having fun with what it is now. If she becomes/is interested in some other guy that is fine by me. I don't want that to happen. But I like her enough to want her happy, and I will be happy with what did happen between us, however small.
So that is quite a big new development. I have found someone that has captured my attention like no one has in over a year.

Back to this weekend, so Friday night was a huge success. It was followed by another fun night. Saturday I went to a friends house party. He had the most beautifully decorated house that I have ever seen, inside or outside of a magazine. It was in the heart of the ghetto, so I walked to the door assuming the outside to match the inside but was greatly surprised. I was re taught the lesson of not judging a book by its cover.
After the house party, we all went to Diva's for a dance party. I didn't stay for too long, because I had to work in the morning. But it was really busy, and fun while I was there.

I worked all day Sunday, then went to a drag show. A friend of mine is a drag king, and was being celebrated at the club. It was a fun evening, nothing too rowdy seeing as I was tired from work.

Monday was just as wonderful as the previous days had been. Juliet and I brought a bucket full of paints to the river rocks we sat on during the fireworks, and painted rocks. I have been wanting to paint one of those rocks with someone for a long time now, and I'm glad it was with her.
Scary monsters seem to be a recurring event for us. First the Mothman up on the train bridge, now the Ogopogo by the river. While we were painting the river rocks something splashed out of the water right near us. It sent us scambling up the hill of rocks, screaming like sissies’. We think it was a little furry creature we had saw earlier swimming near us. At the time we were positive it was Ogopogo.

Which bring us to today, where I had my 3rd day of classes. Hopefully that is an entertaining enough update to keep you guys reading. I will update soon, I promise!

- Avery Eros