Recess Games

Seriously.
I am the Cheater Whisperer.

I should look into charging for this skill. Wondering about how committed your partner is? Put them in a 25-mile radius of me. If they find me, the relationship is on its last legs.

Or maybe people are assuming, because of my height, that I play basketball. I've been getting nothing but rebounds!
What starts in chaos, ends in chaos. That is a simple theory to understand. But apparently everyone missed that lesson.
Relationships are not a game of Leap Frog. You don't sink your claws into the back of the person you are with, to launch yourself to a new person.

Do I have a lily pad like target on my back?

There is nothing attractive about cheating. Putting the moves on me while you are dating someone, is the quickest way to make sure nothing ever happens between us. Merely acknowledging the attraction is OK. Nothing wrong with speaking the truth, as long as it comes from a place of purity, and more importantly, non action. Little innocent crushes keep things fresh in relationships, but don't act on it!
I have been cheated on, or used as a launch pad in almost every relationship I've had. So I'm not going to play that game.

Why don't you all go play Tag, or Hide and Seek with each other?
Let the grown ups talk.

A note to all Rebounds:
Yes, I am tall.
Yes, I enjoy basketball.
But no, I don't want to score with you.

If two hours ago you were crying over your recent break up, there are a few things that are bad ideas to do. Getting a drastic new hair cut, is not a good idea. Eating an entire tub of Chocolate Fudge Brownie Ice Cream, is not a good idea. Reapplying the mascara you just cried off, then hitting on me is, say it with me, NOT A GOOD IDEA.
Invest in some water proof make up, and think about personal development. You may have forgotten what that is, so let me remind you. Personal Development happens when a person is single, and has the time and space to develop the crippled and neglected qualities about themselves.

Come back to me in three months, when you have a couple new hobbies.
Take up knitting!
You can knit me a scarf in hopes that it will warm my cold, blackened heart. Obviously, I must have one if I rejected you. No one ever says 'No' to you.
Or maybe make me a toque to keep my luxurious hair under wraps. Hater.

If I am going to have a friend I make out with, an open relationship, or a person I see on a fairly regular basis who I sleep over with, and spend money on. It is NOT going to be with the aforementioned people.

Single, stable, gypsy-lious (I am going to make that word happen, it is so fetch), independent, kind, drama free, great kissers, little spoons who are open to being the big spoon on occasion NEED ONLY APPLY.
Reply to this message if you fit the criteria, must have references.

-With all the love in my Superhero heart

Aves.