HAPPY NESS!

Ness is a modern day Woodstock. It has everything Woodstock did.

Hippies - Check
Love, in every sense of the word - Check
Music - Check
Drugs and Alcohol - Check
No shoes - Check
Peace and Friendship - Check

I don't even know where, or how to get started with this post. So much happened, it was non stop for four days. I'll summarize each day, and then explain them to make it more clear.
I had planned on posting all four days at once, but it has taken me this long to write two I will post the others later.

Ness Day One - Tag Team. This is the start of a beautiful relationship.
Ness Day Two - Mud, fell down a hill. Wanna make out?
Ness Day Three - I'm not her girlfriend, I'm just the person she makes out with.
P.S. Watch out for the unicorn blood.
Ness Day Four - Breakfast Club Good-byes.


Last year Ness was the best weekend of my entire year, and it didn’t disappoint in reaching that standard again.
This festival happened on the same weekend last year. It was a good marker in helping me notice how much personal change has happened. I was a very different person at this years festival, then how I was last year. Not everything about me changed, the things I like about myself stayed the same. But I have made improvements on things that needed work at this point last year.
Last year I was still very shy, and unsure of my actions. I didn't talk to very many new people, and I was in bed early every night. This year I met so many new people, and I was bold in my actions. I stayed out and had fun late into the night.
I'm excited to see the improvements, and differences I notice in myself a year from now at next years festival.


I arrived at the festival after some nerve racking fish tailing on the gravel roads leading to the site. I drove to the site I stayed in last year. Not only was it empty, but across the path from it were my good friends. The magic was already starting.
I unpacked my site, just in time for some supper before the party started.
The group of friends that were camping close to me consisted of one of my best friends, Sage. She has profound insight into life, and the people around her. She has the most free laugh, when she laughs happiness vibrates out of her.
Wing Man was also in the group. I had only met Wing Man once or twice before hanging out with him here. But I can safely say that we are going to be friends for a long time. He and I click so smoothly. We are very similar people in interests, humour, style, and social interaction. He and I go together better then any pairing in the history of time. Bonnie and Clyde got nothing on us. Garth and Wayne are just chumps. Fuck Peanut butter and Jam. It is all about Tag Team.

What is this Tag Team you ask?
The metal to-go coffee cup I used as my wine chalice all weekend was from my old job. At my old job we made a product called 'Tag Team', so that was written on this cup. After finishing off a cup of red wine from this chalice, I realized that it said Tag Team and my name.
It spoke to me. This was a message from God giving me a mission for the weekend. I listened, and I was a faithful follower of this message. I brought the message down the mountain carved on a stone and read it to my Wing Man. Together we formed Tag Team.
On the 8th day, God made Tag Team.

Wing Man and I spent Thursday night going on babe scoping expeditions. We used sign language to communicate while in the midst of a mission. We really have the perfect friendship. Separately we are cute, and charming. When we come together we mighty morph into a Megazord of sexiness that is irresistible to all babes.
Early in the night our charm and charisma attracted a babe. Flirting led to the consummation of Tag Team. The three of us made out, it was a really good way to kick off Ness.
We then left that girl to go find other babes. I had a ton of found gallivanting through the forest with Wing Man. We talked to lots of people, scoped out a few prospective babes. Then called it a night around 2 or 3am.

Friday morning came way to soon. It was delivered to Wing 'Cuddle Bunny' Man and I by eight small children doing child like things outside our tent at 7:30am.
Running on a few hours sleep the gang headed to the main stage area for some grub. Also to watch the antics of our fellow severely hung over, sleep deprived Nesser's
Wing Man and I went back to the tent for few more hours of spooning and sleep, while the others went to the beach.
Feeling slightly more refreshed and alive Tag Team went to catch a shuttle to the beach. Apparently everyone else had the same idea, because it was an hour wait for a ten minute ride. But the magic of Ness once again dusted us with luck.
A local mother fucking celebrity and friend offered us a ride in his van. He said he could find room for just the two of us. But when he pulled up in front of the large group of people waiting for the shuttle, everyone swarmed to it. Like flies on the piles of vomit that now decorate the forest of Ness Creek.

You know the mini van saying "two in the front, five in the back."
It has been rewritten.
"Ten in the front, four in the back."
Ten of us were crammed into the van. Four extra desperate souls climbed into the dark, non ventilated, musical equipment packed U-haul.
It was like sneaking Mexicans and cocaine across the boarder.

We arrived at the beach for some prime babescoping. Sunglasses were worn so we could not be caught staring.
Wing Man joined a game of beach volleyball, I cheered him on like a good partner in crime should. He did get hit in the face with the volleyball, so we called it a day fairly quickly. One can’t be babescope with a broken face.
We trekked back to our tent for another nap, and some food.
A car full of pretty girls rolled up beside my camp site. Being on my game like I was, I told them there was lots of room, and they were welcome to put their tent down. I also told them that they should party with us too.

I spent most of Friday night off away from the group. I was wandering around, and hanging out with other friends. But I would check back in with my crew periodically. During one such visit Wing Man and I decided to take a quick scope of the dance floor before turning in fairly early (1am). That plan quickly jumped out of the loser rut and into the 'accomplishing a goal on the list of things to do in my life' freeway. As I got close to the dance floor, I noticed one of the cute babes that set up next door. I walked over to her to say hi, when I discovered a friend of mine Sincerity standing beside her.
This girl is the Queen of all babes. She has such a kind, sincere heart. I've never heard her say anything hurtful or cruel about another person. She speaks the truth in a quiet warm voice. I've had a crush on her for nearly two years. I used to get in trouble with an ex for flirting with her all the time.
So you can begin to understand how ecstatic I was when she pulled me into a hug, and cupped my face in her hands while professing that she thought I was cute.
Naturally I pulled out my best line. "So do you want to make out?"
It worked! Internal happy dance ensued.
Sincerity and I danced a little bit more before we decided to go get another drink from the beer gardens. She left her ID at her tent though, and couldn't get in. Not letting that hinder the fairy tale happening to me right now, we planned to sneak the alcohol out of the gardens while standing right beside the security guards. It was okay though, because the previous night I had charmed both of them with mints from a Zelda shield tin. They didn't say anything about our plan.
We found a nice little corner to sip our drinks. But over the course of me sneaking the drinks out, and us drinking them Sincerity got much more messed up. She and her friend decided it would be a good idea to bond over throwing up next to each other.
Being the gentleman I am, I said I would walk her to her tent. Gentlemanliness has its limits, trying to find a tent way off in third field off all paths buried in the forest is reaching the limit.
We did find it eventually. Sincerity fell down a hill . . . twice. I fell into a cavern, and then got scared of the bears. But I did manage to get her tucked in with a glass of water.

I found my way back to the dance floor and had a dance party with Sage to Vitamins4You.
She was my cuddle buddy that night because Wing Man was off getting lucky.
Sage and I entertained our adult eavesdropping neighbours with the stories of our nights.
They returned the favour by letting their hooligans, I mean kids, stand outside our tent a few hours later and scream. Well-played bitches, well-played.


Okay folks! Those are the first two days. I will get cracking on Saturday, and Sunday at Ness. I'll try to have that posted within the next day or two.
I have lots of update you on after Ness, so stand by.

P.S. My test results came back. I tested negitive for clamidia, herpes, and dignity. But postive for studliness, good times, and memories. Win?