Testosterone Referral!!

Sorry for the delayed post. I wrote this Oct. 2, 2009.

I GOT MY TESTOSTERONE REFERRAL!!!

Finally!
Beautiful, poetic justice.
Twenty years to the day since my birth I receive permission to be born into the correct body.

I feel like Pinocchio. I’m finally going to be a 'real' boy. I have morphed, and woven a few fairy tales together that I think explain my situation. Currently I feel like the ugly duckling (I know I am not fugly), but I am not at my full potential. The story goes that the ugly duckling grows up into a beautiful swan. I switch things up a bit, and say I am going to grow into the handsome Prince, more specifically the Prince from the Frog/Princess story. Moral of the story, I may currently be the ugly duckling, but with a couple kisses and some T, I will change into a handsome Prince. Sticking around, being patient, loving me for who I am on the inside is going to pay off because I am gonna be F-ing sexy.

I just got home from my appointment with my Gender Therapist. I told her I was ready to start T, and she agreed. She is referring me to an Endo in the city. So it is just a waiting game now. She said the response time from the Endo varies. Sometimes it is right away, but other times it is a long wait. I really hope it is a short wait. My friend has been waiting two and a half months, and hasn't heard anything yet. I hope he gets in soon, and that I don't have to wait as long as he has.

This really is the best present I have received since my actual birth.

I am so ready. I had felt in the past that by taking T I was taking the easy way out, that I was admitting defeat. That being this variant was just too hard, and I wanted something easier. But I know that I have tried my best that I have DONE my best. I am proud of myself, and all of my accomplishments in life. I am not taking the easy way out. There is not a situation in my life that I can look at and say I can/could do better. I am not taking T expecting that my life will be perfect because of it. It will improve my life beyond measure, but life is not easy and it won't become so because of T. I have, and will continue, to take steps to change what I am not happy with in life.
I wasn't feeling fulfilled working my job. I registered for school.
I wasn't comfortable with my name. I changed it.
Life doesn't get better by doing nothing. You have to change your thinking/actions for it to improve.

I feel so much relief. Just when I think I couldn't possibly feel it more then I already am, another wave hits me. It feels so great. I am so close. I've done everything I needed to do, everything I could do. All I do now is wait.

Waiting is going to be very easy this weekend. It is my birthday weekend! I am having two nights of partying. Tonight is the 'Drink a Straight Bar Gay' event at Whiskey Jacks. I had 'Birthday Boy' written in pink letters printed onto a ball tee.

Next update will be the events of my birthday parties!

- Avery Eros Finley