First Shot of T!

On Monday, December 7 around 3:oopm I had my first shot of testosterone.

Everything fell into place so well that day. I was excited and nervous, but I was also trying to prepare myself in case I was to hit some barriers and not get prescribed testosterone.

Earlier in the week I had to get a bunch of blood work done for this appointment with my Endocrinologist. The majority of the boxes on the purple blood work sheet were checked off.
They look five vials of blood, and I got to pee in a cup. Yippie! Peeing in a cup is not easy, and it is made much harder when you haven't had anything to drink for 13 hours.
If the doctor found anything wrong in this blood work, he wouldn't prescribe me T. I was really worried about that happening.

I was so worried about things going wrong on Monday that I had a nightmare about it.
I was up at Waskesiu lake with some friends. I wasn't in a clinic, I was in a log cabin filled with people I didn't know. I only knew one person in the room, and that is one of my nurse friends. In the dream, he and his team took FIFTEEN vials of blood from my leg. After that he suddenly STABBED me in the ass with a giant turkey baster sized needle. It hurt so bad in the dream that I woke up clutching my side.

After that lovely start to the day I went about getting ready for the appointment. I took a few 'before' pictures, so I can keep track of my changes. I put some extra thought into what I was going to wear, after all it was the most important day of my life. I decided on my favourite Superman shirt.
If you know me at all, you know that I love Superman. It is safe to bet that if I am carrying a bag with me it has a Superman comic in it. There are many reasons as to why Superman is so important to me. Too many to list in this post, so I will write a separate one on it. What is important to know is that Superman's character is one that I look up to in my life. It was important for me to wear my Superman shirt on Monday, because as I would say later that day; "No longer [am I] going to be Lois Lane, but Superman . . . Or let’s be honest, Clark Kent."

My personal Superhero that day was my friend Sierra. (That is her actual name; not one made up for my blog, she already has one of those. Muhahaha. But in the videos from Monday you are going to see who she is, so using her code name would completely defeat the purpose of having a code name.) She is one of my closest friends. Without her, my life would have been much harder and filled with much less happiness. I truly am forever in debt to her. If she ever needs a kidney, she can count on one from me.
Sierra came with me to my appointment, and gave me my first shot. I was really nervous about the appointment. I had no idea what it was going to be like, so I am grateful to have had her at my side.

When I went to pick her up to come to the appointment, she gave me cupcakes from the new cupcake store! Yeah! Speciality Cupcakes! Favourite person ever!

My appointment was at the Royal University Hospital, which is more of a maze than a hospital. After wandering around lost for a while we finally found the right area.
We saw a giant bag of fluff along the away to my doctor’s office. < That is really not vital information, but it was a really random thing to see.
I got asked every question a doctor could ever ask, and than more. I got asked multiple times, in a very serious manner, if I had to pee. I did, because I was nervous, but I said no. They way they were asking was like it was the most vital piece of information they could get from me. After the FBI like question period I got to strip naked, and put on one of those fun hospital gowns.
Yippie.
After this appointment Sierra knows everything about me.

I really had no idea that the appointment was going to be that intense. It is amazing how an open backed hospital gown makes you feel. I suddenly got super senses, and noticed things in the room that made me worry. One of them being a giant tube of lube. I had a mini melt down thinking the doctor was going to give me a pap. The second thing I noticed was a chart of the levels of acne a person can get. The last level was horrific. I told Sierra if my acne got that bad that she had to shoot me.

During this freak out/awkward 'I'm naked for the first time around you' moment Sierra once again came to the rescue. Her random goofy commentary through the whole appointment kept me calm. Without her pointing out the nurses shiny shoes, telling stories about her first pap, and general witty comments, I would have felt terrified and alone.

Turns out I over reacted about the tube of lube. When the doctor came back into the room, he did a few minor tests. One of which crushed the tiny little bit of hope I had left that I was actually not female. He did this with two measurements and a calculator. Apparently my hip to waist ratio is that of a "female phenotype". Thanks Doc, for killing my dream of having hidden testies behind my uterus. I did however feel much more secure in his skill after he said phenotype, it is a very doctor-ish word.
He took my blood pressure, which I think must have been high because he asked a couple questions related to it after, then left. I have never had blood pressure problems, but I was super worried that there was a problem and I wouldn't be able to get my T.
I am guessing it was high because of how nervous I was, and because all I ate that day was a bowl of cereal and a cupcake.
Curse you, delicious red wine chocolate cupcake!

The hospital gown was total over kill on the doctors part. There was no need for me to strip completely naked for the tests he did. Leaving my gitch on would not have been a problem. I think he was mad with power.

My blood pleasure must have been okay, because he came back in and started talking about the different kinds of testosterone!
I successfully jumped through the last hoop!

I decided that I wanted to take my testosterone in the form of weekly 100mg injections. It is the best option for what I am looking for. It causes changes to happen at the quickest rate, and it is the cheapest. I am not afraid of needles, so doing a shot every week won't be too bad.

The other options of testosterone are in pill, patch or cream form. They are all more expensive and have more cons to them. The cream can transfer onto people that the wearer touches. Which is bad, because most women don't want to grow a moustache. The pill is harder on the liver than the other forms. The patch is more slow acting than the injections.

The doctor kind of explained how to do an injection, but he didn't explain well enough. His explanation it involved a drawing of a butt . . . Needless to say Sierra and I went home and watched Youtube videos for a better explanation. I wanted to get injected into the quad, because I thought Sierra had already seen enough of me for the day.
I am not impressed with that area of the appointment. He should have gone over step by step how to do an intramuscular injection. Neither one of us had ever given a needle before, and for him to let us figure out how to do it on our own is irresponsible.

After some hugging, happy dances, fist pumps, and ‘rawrs’ (squeals) of triumph we went to fill the prescription.
One of my best buds is Trans, and was just prescribed testosterone too. He had a lot of trouble finding a pharmacy that carried it. He had to go to four pharmacies before he found one that had it. This was one of the barriers I was worried about hitting. I went to the pharmacy that filled his prescription hoping they still had some left.
I lucked out! They had some!
I walked out 1 vial of testosterone, 10 needles, 100 alcohol swabs, and 1 tube of acne cream richer. Woop!

After watching Youtube videos and reading some directions on the internet, it was time for my first shot!

You can see a few things in this video:
1) Avery doesn't understand not to touch sterile things.
2) This is what happens when the doctor doesn't explain how to get medicine out of a vial. (I googled it, and now know for the next shot)
3) How awesome Sierra is.
4) How funny I am.



After we hugged it out my camera decided to run out of memory, and didn't capture the actual shot. Isn't that how it always happens? It is okay though, I got the best parts. I will video tape my next dose, and actually give you the money shot (penetration haha).

The shot didn't hurt at all! Not even a little bit uncomfortable. It went much smoother than the process of getting the T out of the vial did. It has been 3 days and I am still alive so even though the shot went a little shaky it didn't hurt me.

There you have it folks! That was my first shot of testosterone. I am now on my way to become more me.

Keep checking in, more updates are on the way. I have a new plan for updates -

Once a week I will post an update related to trans stuff. With each of these updates will be pictures and/or a video. That way the changes I've experienced will be visible. I like the idea of being able to flip through a virtual photo album and see my metamorphosis.
Also, with videos I can subject you more efficiently to my awkwardness, and charm.

I will also post weekly updates covering everything else this blog is about. My personal ramblings, rants, love, random adventures, and my Yoda like wisdom.


- With all the love in my superhero heart,

Avery Eros Finley